What Is Love?
by Lithoniel
Summary: Naruto's thoughts, feelings and confusion as he grows up in Konoha plus a few from other POV when necessary . T to be safe. Deviates from original storyline, drabblefic, slight OOC, eventual SasuNaru.
1. Unwanted

_~One: Unwanted~_

In the Hidden Village of Konoha, in a dirty room at the back of a run-down orphanage, a nine-month-old baby boy was crying. His nappy needed to be changed, and he was cold. He didn't understand why no one would pick him up and hug him like the other children. He didn't understand why the lady who was so nice to the other children would make an angry face at him and ignore him when he reached out to her for affection or food.

Occasionally a kind old man would visit and say something to a person in an animal mask, who would then feed and change him, but apart from that he was left alone and shunned by all.

Uzumaki Naruto was a mere babe…and he was completely unwanted.

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_Okay, so this story is gonna be a series of twenty-five short drabbles, all centred around Naruto as he's growing up. It does get OOC and deviate from the storyline quite a bit (seeing as I don't really know that much about Naruto) but hopefully everyone will like it._

_Let me know what you think by REVIEWING!_

_Even if it's just to say 'good' or 'that was crap' I don't care! I just want some reviews *pouts*_

_Ja Ne!_

_Ashuri_


	2. Freak

_~Two: Freak~_

Two-year-old Naruto crouched in the corner of an alleyway, crying softly as he pressed the ripped sleeve of his dirty shirt against the gash in his side. The taunts of the civilians and shinobi that had hurt him whirled about in his mind, causing him to curl up into a small ball and cry his little heart out. He might be only two, but he understood what 'freak' meant. He wasn't a freak!

…Was he?

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Okay, so that was the second one. These will vary in length, and I'll put up two a day after today, but only if I get at least two reviews. I don't like holding my chapters to ransom, but seeing as I get an average of 1 revew per 200 views of every oneshot I've done, I'm going to be doing this. If I don't get two reviews I'll just put up one every second day instead of two every day.

So if you like it, please review!

Ja Ne

Ashuri


	3. Killer

_~Three: Killer~_

A three-year-old blonde boy hid in the shadow of a stack of crates, rubbing at his eyes to stem the tears that were leaking from beneath tightly-clenched lids as he tried to shake off the hurt from the latest insult that had been spat his way by an angry adult.

Killer.

Just because he'd been carrying a sleeping kitten down the street.

He'd been called a killer and he was only three years old.

Why did everyone do this to him? What had he done?

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Okay, last one for today! Again, if you like it (or if you don't) please review! I'll have another two chapters up tomorrow if I get my two reviews ^.^

Ja Ne!

Ashuri


	4. Demon Brat

_~Four: Demon Brat~_

Four years old, and being admitted to Konoha's hospital for attempted suicide. _Four. Years. Old_.

Hatake Kakashi was horrified.

He didn't know much about the child, but to see such a bright young boy attempt to kill himself made him wish he was able to help. He'd found the unconscious child in an alleyway, bleeding sluggishly from deep gashes in his wrists. A piece of jagged glass was being held in the boy's small fist, and the blood staining it made Kakashi believe it had been a suicide attempt.

He had a lot of questions. Why was this child on the streets? Why wasn't he in an orphanage if he had no parents? Why was he so small? Why had he tried to kill himself?

He would never know the answers.

All he did know was that angry civilians had yelled at him for saving the 'demon brat'.

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Again, I find myself with multiple views but very few (no) reviews. Even if it's to say that you don't like it, please _someone_ leave a review. I'm getting rather depressed about it all :(

Ashuri


	5. Evil

_~Five: Evil~_

Five years of hatred. That was all Uzumaki Naruto knew. He had been hated for as long as he could remember – which was his whole life, all five years of it. And now, as he carried his bag of ridiculously over-priced groceries down the road to his small apartment, he was close to tears once more.

The shopkeeper had called him evil.

Now, Uzumaki Naruto had been called many things, including evil, but to hear the venom – worse than ever before – in the woman's tone had taken him aback. What had he done to deserve this? He never did anything wrong – on the contrary, he kept out of the way and avoided doing anything that would make someone yell or glare at him – and yet he was constantly belittled.

He didn't understand why they said those horrible things.

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Okay! Five down, twenty to go!

Please, please review!

~Ashuri


	6. Not Human

_Thank you __so__ much to the following people:_

**blackteaplease**_ for being the only person to review this story so far - I love you too big sister!_

**AspergianStoryteller**_ for adding my story to her favourites_

_And _**UchihaUzumaki baby**_ for adding this story to her alert list!_

_The support means a lot to me, so thank you!_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto** (I probably should have mentioned this earlier XD)_

_

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_

_~Six: Not Human~_

Naruto had been excited, earlier. He'd gone to his first day of school, pumped and ready to learn everything he could, and he'd been tossed from the schoolhouse. He was only six, an orphan, and he had no siblings, so he didn't understand why the teacher had hated him on sight. The teacher was just like every other person in this village – with the exception of Old Man Hokage, of course.

Why did the teacher hiss out that he wasn't human? He was! He bled, like any other human. He felt sadness, and happiness – although the second one was rarer than snow in Suna – and he needed food and shelter to survive just like any other human.

So why did the teacher say that?

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_Please REVIEW!_

_~Ashuri_


	7. Bakemono

_~Seven: Bakemono~_

_Bakemono._

Why did everyone hate him? Why did they call him 'monster', when all he wanted to do was buy food? Why did they glare at him for walking down the street?

_Bakemono._

It hurt, it truly did. He had never, ever done _anything_ to annoy or hurt someone else, not like these people did to him. He couldn't understand why they did this to him, a seven-year-old child.

_Bakemono._

The word echoed around in his head, causing him to pause in his homework – which would just be marked wrong – and shake his head to try and rid himself of the painful word.

_Bakemono. _Monster.

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Again, please review!

~Ashuri


	8. Monster

_~Eight: Monster~_

He'd heard it all before.

Monster.

Couldn't they think of anything else? It was getting rather old, yes, but it still hurt badly. He'd never done anything wrong, in his eight years of life. He'd never done anything to cause what he heard from every adult he passed.

Monster.

Honestly, you'd think they'd get over whatever it was that made them hate him. He had been a perfect citizen of Konoha for his entire life. But no matter what he did, they hated him and called him hurtful names.

It couldn't be because he was an orphan – there were other orphans too!

And it couldn't be because he was an orphan who wanted to be a shinobi – Uchiha Sasuke had just become an orphan, but all people did was praise him.

It sucked.

And still the word echoed in his mind painfully.

Monster.

* * *

_Please review and let me know what you think! Oh, and also, thanks to _**The 2 crazy Kats- Mika and M.Z**_ for the review and add to favourites._

_~Ashuri_


	9. Devil Child

_~Nine: Devil Child~_

Sasuke, age nine, watched impassively as Naruto was chased down the street by angry civilians. The idiot must have done something to piss them off, he reasoned. Probably pulled another prank…

But then he heard it.

Devil child.

Was Naruto really that bad?

No, he must be hearing things.

No one would call an orphan, even an irritating one like Naruto, something like that.

Devil child.

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_There! Our first look into young Sasuke's mind :)_

_Please review._

_~Ashuri_


	10. Baka

_~Ten: Baka~_

Uzumaki Naruto felt the insult like a stab in the chest.

Baka.

It wasn't his fault none of the teachers had taught him correctly before Iruka-sensei! It was bad enough the villagers hated him and tried to kill him every chance they got – now his classmates were joining in on the insults.

Baka.

He _was_ 'baka' for thinking that maybe – just maybe – they'd be different from their parents and relatives.

* * *

_I was feeling rather generous today (lol) and decided to give another little chapter and perhaps even it up a little_

_So please, review!_

_~Ashuri_


	11. Dobe

_~Eleven: Dobe~_

Naruto frowned at the contradiction between Sasuke's words and tone. Dare he think it, but the Uchiha prat actually sounded…teasing?

Either way, Naruto responded animatedly – he enjoyed the banter with the stand-offish Uchiha.

The insults flew between them regularly after that day – a short 'tch, dobe' from Sasuke after Naruto had done something silly often followed by a shout of 'don't call me that, Sasuke-teme' from the loud blonde boy.

As the weeks wore on, Iruka felt lighter for his almost-adoptive-otouto.

It was good to see both boys interacting with other students even if it was just a trade of verbal blows between them.

* * *

_Many thanks to _**omichiri6183**_ for adding this story to favourites and alerts._

_Please review!_

_~Ashuri_


	12. Kyuubi

_~Twelve: Kyuubi~_

Kyuubi.

So that was why everyone hated him.

He had the Kyuubi trapped inside him…it made sense. That was why everyone called him 'demon brat' or 'monster'. It was all the Kyuubi's fault.

All Kyuubi's fault.

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_Okay, so this one was really short...some of the others after about chapter 16 will be decent lengths._

_Please review!_

_~Ashuri_


	13. Stupid

_~Thirteen: Stupid~_

He should be used to it by now.

The insults, the whispers, the hatred.

But every time someone called him stupid to his face, he died a little more. It wasn't his fault they refused to teach him early on. It wasn't. Just because he had been taught wrong, they called him stupid.

Everyone.

Well, everyone but Iruka, Old Man Hokage and Sasuke. They didn't demean him like the others did.

He wasn't stupid. He wasn't.

* * *

_Please review!_

_~Ashuri_


	14. Usuratonkachi

_~Fourteen: Usuratonkachi~_

The first time Sasuke called him that instead of 'dobe', he had been shocked. Surprised, actually, rather than shocked.

Although it was still an insult, Naruto could hear the affection behind it – the affection he received only from Iruka, Sarutobi and Kakashi when in private. Usuratonkachi…it meant something different coming from Sasuke than it did coming from someone else. Coming from the stand-offish last Uchiha, 'usuratonkachi' was a term of endearment even as it was a rebuke.

He didn't mind it when it was Sasuke who called him that.

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_Again, please review!_

_~Ashuri_


	15. Demon

_~Fifteen: Demon~_

It had been four years since he had become a genin. It had been two years since he had left Konoha to train with Jiraiya-ero-sennin. Now he was back, and the first thing he hears from the villagers is 'demon'.

You'd think by now they'd realise he wasn't a demon.

Just like before, the hated term cut deep.

Demon.

He wasn't a demon, not at all.

Jiraiya-ero-sensei, Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei didn't think he was a demon, and neither did Sasuke!

Sasuke…he wasn't…there?

Where was Sasuke?

* * *

_Thank you to my faithful reviewer/s!_

_Please Review :)_

_~Ashuri_


	16. Hated

_~Sixteen: Hated~_

Naruto cried himself to sleep on the night of his eighteenth birthday. He had been glared at and had objects thrown at him all day, and now he was (figuratively) licking his wounds here in the woods.

He slept uneasily, the truth of what he was swirling around in his mind even as a shadow detached itself from beneath the trees and crept over to curl around him protectively.

He was hated.

Hated by all of them…

Except Sasuke.

Sasuke, who risked capture by Konoha shinobi for being so close.

Sasuke curled his tall, lithe body around his former-rival and secret friend protectively, wishing he could somehow protect the short blonde teenager from the hatred of others.

He would do anything to protect Naruto. Anything.

* * *

_Okay, so from here onwards the chapters are going to be a little more substantial._

_Please read and review!_

_~Ashuri_


	17. Am I Destined To Be Alone?

_~ Seventeen: Am I Destined To Be Alone? ~_

Naruto walked silently through the forest, his only possessions the clothes on his back and whatever he packed into the scrolls he carried with him.

Even when the villagers had found out who his father was, they had treated him like a murderer. Even Hinata, whom he discovered had had a crush on him when they were younger, had turned her back on him. Just like Sakura-chan. Just like Old Man Ichiraku and Ayame-neesan and Sai and Ino-chan.

But Tsunade-baa-chan, Jiraiya-ero-sennin, Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei still cared about him, just like the rest of his former classmates and Team Gai. They had warned him. They had told him what the others were planning to do to him, and helped him escape. They had told him who to run to. They had told him who to trust, who to look for, who to find.

Sasuke.

He had to find Sasuke.

If he didn't, well…it seemed he destined to be alone.

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_Please review!_

_Oh, and thanks again to my faithful reviewers!_

_~Ashuri_


	18. Tell Me What You See When You Look At Me

_~Eighteen: Tell Me What You See When You Look At Me~_

Sasuke stared, shocked at the skinny, short blonde who had collapsed at his feet. He wasted no time, however, and scooped the smaller man up in his arms before running as quickly as he dared back to his 'team'.

Naruto was barely more than skin and bones, and as he breathed Sasuke could hear the air rattle in his chest and throat. He wasn't in good shape – not even close – and he was covered in injuries.

It would take a while to nurse him back to health.

A month later, Sasuke made his usual visit to Naruto, who had been in a sort of waking coma ever since he woke the day after his injuries had cleared. He hadn't said a word, but still Sasuke visited, coaxed him to eat, and spoke quietly of the others in his 'team'.

Today, however, Naruto's blue eyes were clear – if sad – and flicked over to Sasuke when he sat down beside him.

"Tell me what you see when you look at me," Naruto whispered hoarsely, and Sasuke startled. However, hoping it would help the younger nineteen-year-old, he obliged.

He cared for Naruto more than anything.

* * *

_Again, please review!_

_We're getting close to the end. I'm gonna only put up one chapter a day from now on seeing as there's only seven left._

_~Ashuri_


	19. Will You Ever See?

_~ Nineteen: Will You Ever See My True Pain Or Are You Blinded To Me Too? ~_

Naruto sat silently beside Sasuke as the sun set, neither of them making any sort of attempt to start a conversation. They did this every day, ever since Naruto had started moving about.

Today, however, Naruto broke that silence.

"Do you know what hurts the most?" he asked, his question surprising Sasuke. The raven-haired twenty-year-old blinked a few times. "No one can ever answer that right when I ask them." Sasuke thought about it for a moment, putting an arm around Naruto's shoulders and tugged him into a hug. Naruto stiffened at first, but gradually relaxed little by little.

"What hurts most…is the thought that no one would miss you if you died," Sasuke murmured. Naruto was surprised, but then gave a small, true smile and relaxed into the older man's embrace and buried his face in Sasuke's neck.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "But I'd miss you if you were gone." Sasuke glanced down at him and smiled.

"I'd miss you too…Naruto."

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_Thanks to _**Utopian Moon, AspergianStoryteller**_ and _**The 2 crazy Kats- Mika and M.Z**_ for their reviews!_

_RnR please!_

_~Ashuri_


	20. Am I Never To Be Loved?

_~ Twenty: Am I Never To Be Loved? ~_

Naruto cried silently to himself where he was perched in the upper branches of a strong tree, his blue eyes tearstained and red around the edges. Sasuke sat beside him, offering no pointless words but instead rubbing gentle circles on his friend's back.

They'd just got word that Tsunade and Jiraiya were missing, presumed dead, and that both Iruka and Kakashi were KIA when the Akatsuki attacked Konoha.

Naruto mumbled something, and Sasuke missed it.

"What was that?"

"I said, am I never to be loved?" Naruto repeated, lifting his head and looking at his one source of support. "Everyone in Konoha who loved me is gone. Kakashi-sensei saved me when I was little, you know. I tried to kill myself when I was four. He took me to the hospital and made sure someone fixed me up. Then Iruka-sensei helped me with classes, and Tsunade-baa-san and Jiraiya-sensei cared about me too. Why does everyone who I love and who loved me get hurt?" Sasuke didn't hesitate for a moment – he pulled the small blonde onto his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around him.

"Not everyone, Naruto," Sasuke murmured, holding tightly to the one person he trusted with his life. "I'm still here. I won't leave you." Naruto didn't reply, and just cried into Sasuke's shoulder as he mourned the loss of his remaining 'family'.

* * *

_Thank you to those who reviewed!_

_And again, please read and review_

_~Ashuri_


	21. Hate Is All I Know

_~ Twenty-One: Hate Is All I Know; Can You Prove Differently? ~_

Sasuke watched his friend sleep, dark eyes trained on Naruto's young face as he tossed and turned. Their conversation from earlier came back to him, even when he was thinking about something completely different.

_("Sometimes, I start to think that all I'm meant to know is hate," Naruto whispered, his tears dried up from his earlier mourning.)_

Sasuke reached out and brushed a strand of Naruto's lengthening blonde hair out of his face, before bending and pressing a light, barely-there kiss against the blonde's lips.

"I won't let hate be all you know, Naruto," he whispered. "I promise."

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_Thank you to my reviewer and also the person who added this story to their favourites (I'm sorry but I forgot your username *sweatdrop*)_

_Please RnR_

_~Ashuri_


	22. No One Sees Me For Myself

_~ Twenty-Two: No One Sees Me For Myself; Could You Be Different? ~_

Naruto was once again depressed, and Sasuke watched sadly as the blonde stared moodily at the waterfall near their campsite. Karin, Juugo and Suigetsu had gone off to do various chores – gather wood, hunt, and gather vegetables/herbs/fruits – leaving only Sasuke and Naruto in the camp.

Finally, Sasuke sat down beside his friend and waited.

"Is that all anyone ever sees?" he asked quietly. Earlier that day they had run into some Konoha shinobi aiming to return Sasuke to Konoha, and the shinobi in question had seen Naruto and instantly started up a rant about the 'no-good demon'. It had been Sakura, Sai and Yamato who had come to find Sasuke, and only Yamato hadn't said anything derogatory to the blonde Kyuubi-container. "The demon?"

"I don't see the demon, Naruto," Sasuke murmured, pleased when the blonde leant against his side. He wrapped an arm around Naruto's shoulders and pressed a kiss to the blonde's temple gently. "I see an intelligent, strong, kind person who's been dealt a bad hand. That is all." Naruto nodded once, and closed his eyes as he leant into his friend's warmth.

Sasuke was different than the others. For that, Naruto was glad.

* * *

_Thank you very much to those who reviewed, added this story to favourites and/or story alert!_

_Twenty-two chapters down, three to go. Almost finished!_

_You know the drill now - please RnR!_

_~Ashuri_


	23. Do I Not Deserve Love?

_~ Twenty-Three: Do I Not Deserve Love? ~_

A couple of years after Naruto had left Konoha – leaving both Sasuke and Naruto at age twenty-four – Yamato staggered into their camp badly injured and with a note for the blonde man.

Shino, Chouji, Shikamaru, Kiba, Neji, Tenten and Lee had been banished from Konoha, only to be hunted down by ROOT a few days later and attacked. They had managed – barely – to escape to Suna, but none of them dared leave to find Naruto lest they be murdered. All of them were now crippled in some way, and Kiba was suffering from his ninken's death while Lee was now unable to move faster than a civilian.

Gaara, despite his wishes, could do very little other than give them shelter.

They had been trying to find Naruto to warn him. Yamato wasn't sure what the warning was about, but he knew that whoever was behind it did _not_ want Naruto to find out.

Yamato died in Naruto's arms.

The next day found Sasuke once again comforting his hurt and nearly-broken friend. The blonde very nearly flung himself from the cliff upon which they were camped, but Sasuke had stopped him and held him tightly while he grieved.

"You aren't a burden, or unwelcome, or unwanted, Naruto," Sasuke murmured after deciphering his friend's ramblings. "I care for you. Your other friends care for you, that's why they tried to warn you. But remember – no matter what comes – I. Will. Be. Here." Naruto nodded, although deep down he wondered if he truly deserved to be loved.

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_Thanks to those who reviewed!_

_Two more chapters after this one and then we're done!_

_~Ashuri_


	24. Shed No Tear For Me

_~Twenty-Four: Shed No Tear For Me; I'm Where I Want To Be~_

Sasuke woke upon Naruto's twenty-fifth birthday to find the blonde missing. He ignored his team-mates as he rushed to track his friend, hoping to find him before he did something stupid.

He found Naruto with slit wrists, near death, on the bank of the stream from which they had gotten their water the previous night. There was a note beside him, and a blood-covered kunai was clenched in the blonde's hand.

As quickly as he could, Sasuke wrapped up his friend's wrists and applied healing chakra to the gashes, closing them as best he could while he fumbled around in his pouch searching for some blood-replenishing pills. He wouldn't let Naruto die! Naruto couldn't die! Not now, not like this…

"Don't you dare die on me, Naruto," he half-snapped, half-sobbed, as he forced the blonde to swallow the pills. "You hear me? Don't you dare die!"

He had made it just in time. Karin had followed Sasuke and managed to help heal the blonde's wounds where Sasuke couldn't, and comforted her brother-figure while they waited for Naruto to wake up.

They read the note that had been beside Naruto, and realised immediately that it had been a suicide attempt.

One line, as Sasuke waited for Naruto to wait, repeated over and over in the raven-haired man's head.

_Shed no tear for me, Sasuke. I'm exactly where I want to be._

* * *

_Okay, that's the second-last chapter!_

_About the whole pill thing...I've been reading _way _too much fanfiction and that just seemed to be the way to go. *shrugs*_

_No reviews on the last chapter *pouts* but please review this time!_

_~Ashuri_


	25. Can You Show Me Love?

_~ Twenty-five: Can You Show Me Love? ~_

Naruto woke the day after his suicide attempt to find Sasuke sleeping beside him with tear-tracks down his cheeks, and an intolerable guilt seized him.

Sasuke had been worried about him…Sasuke had _cried_ for him.

The tent-flap opened, and Naruto looked in that direction to find a very irate Karin glaring at him. He flinched.

"Do you know how much pain that little stunt of yours caused Sasuke?" the woman hissed as she deftly checked the wounds beneath Naruto's bandaged wrists. "He was hysterical when he thought you were dead! Are you really so selfish as to think none of us will miss you if you die?"

"I…" Naruto trailed off, guiltily looking away. "I thought it would be better for everyone if I was gone." Karin's face softened, and she gently embraced the blonde man in a motherly fashion.

"He loves you, Naruto. Don't ever, ever doubt that. Live…for him."

Sasuke woke to find Naruto awake and watching his face thoughtfully. A little disoriented for a moment, Sasuke was surprised when he realised he had his arms wrapped around the blonde and Naruto's arms were around his waist tightly, but didn't move away. Instead, he drew the blonde closer still and buried his face in Naruto's shoulder.

"Don't do that ever again," he mumbled, stray tears leaking from beneath his closed eyelids. Naruto nestled closer, eyes closing as he relaxed against his friend of almost twenty years.

"I won't," he murmured in return, then lifted his face. "Sasuke?"

"Hm?"

"Can you…show me what love is?"

Sasuke stared at the shorter man in shock for a moment, then leant forward and tenderly pressed their lips together.

"Yes," he whispered.

Outside, Karin, Juugo and Kimimaro exchanged silent high-fives and went about their business.

Naruto – and Sasuke – would be alright.

* * *

_Alright, I know next to nothing about Karin, Juugo and Kimimaro, but I thought I'd just add that little bit in there to round it off. This was the final chapter, people! :)_

_Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing and supporting this story, and to anyone else - please review!_

_~Ashuri_


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